The Ubiquitous Grammar Cop

It has been far too long since I've written anything I could publish here so let's get to it. I have been a gamer most of my life. I have whiled away many rainy and snowy afternoons as a child playing on the Atari 2600 and Atari 5200. I spent many weekends in arcades pissing away my allowance and meager minimum wage earnings plopping quarters into games like Pac-Man, Tetris, and Mortal Kombat. I marvel at the way computer games have evolved in my lifetime because I have been alive as long as they've been around (Pong, the first video game sold as a consumer item, became available in 1974). Now, I simply play video games as a diversion from the stresses of daily life. Unlike some hard-core gamers out there, I only play certain games that have high replay value. The primary reason is that many of the games out there are very expensive. Personally, I don't find it necessary or appealing to drop US$60 on the latest sports game sponsored by any of the major leagues (save...

Even though I have a Master’s degree in English, I am a science geek. My interest in the sciences prompted me to take two chemistry classes in high school (AP Chemistry as a senior) and two anatomy classes at the University of Illinois. My first love where science is concerned lay in astronomy. In fact, the only thing for sure on my “bucket list” is to see the southern night sky. That said, I have been reading with some amusement the apoplectic reactions to the news release made by the Minnesota Planetarium Society (MNPS for the sake of brevity) that there are actually thirteen signs in the Zodiac rather than the traditional twelve. To make matters more confusing and annoying, they say the dates associated with those signs have changed as well. This prompted people to post comments to the linked news stories and to social networking sites, crying defiantly, “I don’t care what they say! I’m a Taurus!” or, “What the hell is Ophiuchus? I’m not gonna be a sign I can’t pronounce!” In...

Music is powerful. It helps us learn things (think of the Alphabet Song or anything from Schoolhouse Rock). It recalls memories of events past, both specific and vague. For me, I see myself walking past WIMPE (the former nickname for Campus Recreation Center - East at the University of Illinois) on my way back to Allen Hall whenever I listen to Hearing Aid by They Might Be Giants. Music can lift our spirits or drive us deeper into despair. Because music has such an impact, I argue advertisers use music, popular music especially, to subconsciously feed our society's runaway consumerism. Once upon a time, advertisers used to commission songwriters to produce songs specific for the product they wanted to sell. The jingles for Alka-Seltzer® and Tootsie Rolls® come immediately to mind for me, but there were thousands of jingles for the thousands of products advertised on television and radio. In the last fifteen years, most advertisers stopped writing jingles, choosing instead to cull ...

Oops.

Disclaimer: This is simply an observation. To those with children, no offense is implied. I used to work as an inventory specialist for a furniture store chain. While my cubicle sat in a raised mezzanine overlooking the large distribution center, I occasionally ventured out to the stores to manage the scheduled inventory of an individual store's stock (floor samples and so forth). On one of these trips, I met a person who worked for one of those independent inventory contractors with a very peculiar last name. While I cannot remember his first name, his last name is one I will never forget. It was Cmunt (pronounced "smunt"). Given his small stature, I gathered he had his share of ass-kicking and name-calling while growing up with a name like Cmunt. His well-weathered, lined face adorned with a walrus mustache and bushy goatee complemented his cheerful demeanor though. When speaking with him, he spoke of his last name with a weary, good-natured humor. It was obvious he cl...

Good friends of mine are expecting their first child this summer. As part of all the preparation they are doing, they are reading as much information as they can. Mom-to-be came across an article that may be of broader interest so she posted a link and suggested feedback by doing so. I found Swaminathan's anti-circumcision argument compelling but weak in two certain points. He argues that in recent years many people are questioning the reasons why men should be circumcised and how those numbers are increasing. He also points out why the medical rationale for circumcision (which makes it popular in the United States) is flawed. While I cannot dispute that circumcision is not medically necessary I will argue that it's done mainly for hygienic reasons. This is Swaminathan's first flaw; while arguing against the need for circumcision he cites examples indicating why parents of newborn boys should. He quotes a New Jersey mother warning parents to be "extra vigilant about k...

I heard this question during a commercial for the CBS reality show The Amazing Race : "How do you make champagne? Do you take wine and add club soda?" He posed those questions to a champagne manufacturer (in France).